PIE FOR THE WIN

This may be the pinnacle of human achievement. Or not. I haven’t been. Yet.

‘Cause, like, you can’t do this without the proper tool…you.

Also, I just bought conditioner instead of shampoo by accident. I don’t use conditioner. And I forgot the milk, so I’m having cereal with water.  Welcome to suck city.

…is like a night without pie.

Which is to say, sucky.

One of my friends tells me I’m supposed to blog about pie. Well, duh. That is the topic of this blog–pie. Way to be helpful, there.  I guess what he means is that I’m supposed to blog about pie EVERY DAY.  Which would mean I’d have to eat pie every day!

Fortunately, I just had another pizza, but this one did not have sausages, because there were two of us, one of whom (not me) doesn’t like sausage on pie, which I think we can all agree is lame.

And I forgot to take a picture. But I DID eat a big plate of meats, and also some cherries with cream, even though no one was willing to make a dress out of cream like in Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass. And also of course we ate the pie, which maybe I’ll talk about later but I had a lot of beer and need to go to bed. OK goodnight, gentle pie-loving reader.

P.S. When I say “pie-loving,” I do not mean to insinuate you are having sexual relations with a pie. If you are having sexual relations with a pie, all I ask it that (1) it not be a pie I am going to eat and (2) you not tell me about it, but apart from that, I try not to be too judgmental of others.

But it is all awesome.

Pizza al salsaccia, from Delfina Pizzeria.

I tried to take a photo of the whole pie, but was overcome by pie lust and had to eat a slice before I could continue.  This is what pie does to you. Assuming you are not lame.

You are not Lance Armstrong. Please do not wear spandex.

…I could really use one of those pie server spatula-thingies.  Believe it or not, I don’t have one.

I would also like a pony.  Hugo’s getting on in years, and at some point I’ll probably need to have him put down.

Pie is also the question.  To which the answer is, of course, more pie.

Here’s the pie I had tonight:

It’s a strawberry-rhubarb pie from Mission Pie.  I served it with some Ciao Bella vanilla gelato and a dusting of ground nutmeg.

Oh yeah, and I cooked a little too:

This was basically the same menu as the other night (that night I only cooked one of the two birds, so I had this one brining for an extra 3 days–which I think helped), but broiled instead of grilled (actually an improvement, I think, given my lack of mad BBQ skills), salted both sides slightly prior to broiling, and used Israeli couscous instead of regular.

Pie:cake as monks:ninjas.

I hope that was the type of test you would pass, since I think it’s now required by law or they’ll take the money away from your school like they did in season 3 of The Wire, along with other things like dispose of bodies in condemned houses using lye, and I think maybe one of the cops threw up at bar or something.  And there was a video camera you could use to spy on people, too.

That’s just how it is here, I guess.  It’s not the same in every place, though.  In Soviet Russia, no behinds are left child!  Lols.

Also, I did not have any pie today, but I had a very good scone with jam and clotted cream.

Fun with science:  obtain samples of each of the substances in the photo below.   Two of them are sodium hydroxide.  One is chiclets.   Using only your sense of taste, find the gum!

Haha, just kidding.  They’re all sodium hydroxide.  Bet I fooled you!  Next time, you will know not to be a sucker.  Just kidding.  I think you will be a sucker next time too.